Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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