i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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