i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
what day is it and did you see me today?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
