If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
