I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
