as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize