Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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