Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
