She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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