Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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