well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
where am i from again
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We were destined to go to rehab together
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
