I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
someone owes me an orgasm
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
