NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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