I just cut my nipple shaving
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
