i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
