Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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