I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
and you fell through a lawn chair
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
