your parents love me but you hate me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
