so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
