did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
