he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
