Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
