That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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