just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
