Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
