Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
