I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
