you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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