god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I love black thongs
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize