I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
