listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Mom said you looked used
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
