she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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