How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
