So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
