people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
