he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
