Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
