just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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