i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize