Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
