I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
