I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize