I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
home. puking in laundry basket.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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