The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
