in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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