you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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