Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
