Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize