I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
