Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So much rum. So many feels.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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