the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
