who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
handjob tips. give me some.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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