remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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