Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
