so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
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