I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
