I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
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