I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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