O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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