i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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