Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
