Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
