somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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