My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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