That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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