WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
