I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
