just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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