Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
